The hard climb

So, I've been sitting here trying to think of what to write for the past hour or so, and today is just one of those days that I can't seem to get my brain to rev up.  I'm sure you've had those days, dear internet, where nothing seems to gel quite the way you want it to, where your thoughts jump from one place to another so fast and so randomly it feels impossible to catch one of them, and formulate it into anything cohesive.  So, I think that's what this post is going to be: pushing through the block, even when it's hard.

Like I said, I'm a writer who's let himself get into the habit of procrastination, giving into the void of writers block.  In those situations, of course it's always easier to say that I'll put it off for another day.  But no more.  Even as I write this, I can feel my thoughts coming into a clearer focus.  In between bouts of trying to come up with what to write for today's blog, I glanced over a couple of old scripts I had written for what was originally intended to be a pseudo-zombie web series, titled "Generation Z".  I definitely can see some places where it could be tightened up, and I think the first three or four "webisodes" may need to be re-written entirely.  But, after having it sit on the "shelf" for nearly two years, I think the spark is still there.

And, dear internet, that's the way it goes sometimes.  Sometimes you need to give something a little space to gain perspective, to see if the idea still works, is something that still excites you; and let me say now, the idea still excites me, and that's kind of a nice feeling to have.  It's like getting re-acquainted with an old friend.  It also helps me to find some direction on where to go with my immediate screenwriting endeavors.

I'm going to make a confession: re-starting my journey as a screenwriter/filmmaker is a scary one.  It's a passion that I just can't let go of, a dream that follows me wherever I go; it's something that I think I tried to convince myself that I should grow out of, but that hasn't been the case.  I've tried a few times to make a go of it, and haven't succeed yet.  But that's not to say those experiences were a waste of time, either.  I've learned from all of them.

So, maybe today's blog has more of a focus than I originally thought.  Just because you don't succeed at something on your first outing doesn't mean it should be immediately abandoned.  A period of evaluation should be taken, for sure, but even a step that ends in a stumble can still be a step forward; if you have the wherewithal to pick yourself back up again, that is.  Getting back on track is rarely easy, but what comes easiest is rarely the most rewarding.  And this is a lesson that I think can be applied to just about every area of life.

In moving forward, I can only try not to repeat my past mistakes, or let myself get discouraged by them.  If I can look at them as learning experiences, then I know that I can make the next step.

Cody Hobbs